Catching Up

Photo by Marit Williams Photography

I caught up with an old friend on the phone the other day. After our conversation, I pondered over how easy it was to share struggles, praises, and battles. It made me think about how much more powerful it is to share to many when you don’t feel 100% safe.

So if you were my friend, here’s what I’d tell you..

I’d tell you about our house renovation, how I love our new kitchen and pantry. How the house and renovation project came at a perfect time, a time when we had grown weary of winter, small spaces, and failed baby attempts. I’d tell you how we are still settling in, how I often have to tell myself no to Target goodies (haha), and how I still have to fight for contentment because material things will never fill voids.

If you were my friend, I’d tell you how it’s so great seeing Dustin do a job he is good at and passionate about. But I’d tell you how I’m still getting used to it and how constant changing shift schedules don’t help. I’d share that many of the stories he brings home carry a weight. They leave me feeling a mixture of sadness, despondence, and thankfulness. I’d tell you while I feel grateful for the job he has been called to do, I’ve had to work through resentment, fear, and guilt in my marriage.

If you were my friend, I’d joke how I have no idea how to be a mom of two boys and how I still don’t get a full night’s sleep. I’d also tell you how funny Liam is, how sweet Jack is and how I’m sad we’re completely out of the baby stage.

If you were my friend, I’d tell you how I can’t decide what to do about not being able to get pregnant again and how I feel like I’m running out of time. How some people think I should have another surgery or IVF and mostly how I’m paralyzed with indecision.

If you were my friend, I’d tell you how life is a mixed bag of good and hard. I’d tell you Jesus whispered “victory over fear” this past summer so I’m clinging to that.

If you were my friend, I’d ask you how you were and really listen. Your turn.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

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